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Relationship Goals - Part I

Writer's picture: coupledwithchristcoupledwithchrist

Do you ever see a couple doing something cute and you think to yourself, "That is relationship goals!"? The phrase "relationship goals" has become increasingly popular these past few years, especially in mainstream society and on social platforms. You may see a photo of a couple showing public displays of affection (PDA) or snuggled up on a couch together or even get a glimpse of two people in a more compromising or sexually explicit position.


Dictionary.com says, "Relationship goals characterize various actions, or couples themselves, that display a depth of connection someone wants in their own love life. These “goals” can be heartfelt or playful, and the term is often used to comment on others’ social media." It's not difficult to understand why some would want to obtain these "goals". The perceptions many people have regarding the ideal relationship they think they want are pretty much summed up with the displays of these "relationship goals". This is where the question arises in our minds: What does God say about these "relationship goals"?


The Word of God (aka the Bible) is a wonderful blueprint for growing and developing romantic and platonic relationships alike. We're going to take a moment here to give some biblical tips and goals to seek after relating to romantic relationships, specifically for those who are married, engaged to be married, or seriously dating with the intent to become married. These goals for creating a love-filled, joyful, Christ-centered relationship may differ slightly from what the world considers "relationship goals".


1. Pray Together










Prayer is simply communicating with God. When we pray, we are engaging in loving fellowship with our Lord. Praying together can not only strengthen your relationship with one another, it also allows the space for God to be in the center of your marriage. Pray without ceasing (1 Thessalonians 5:17). This means to keep a constant state of prayer, together, as well as in your individual walk with God. As one member in your trio of your marriage (oh, you didn't know it was you, your spouse, and Christ?!), it is also important to pray for your spouse and to do so habitually. Is your spouse getting on your last nerve? Pray about it! Is there something you want to discuss but are unsure of where to begin? Pray about it! Do you seem to be having unresolvable issues? Pray about it! Prayer helps God soften our hearts toward Him and our spouse and and gives us peace when we don't have the answers. Prayer will also help us see through our own filters, blinders, and misperceptions (Psalm 139:24). There is much power in the act of prayer!


Matthew 18:19-20 (KJV) ~ 19Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven. 20For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.


2. Read the Bible Together











Reading the Bible together should not consist of just reading the Bible to check off a box for a completed task. It is a wise method of practice to actually read the Bible to get an understanding of what is being said (Proverbs 4:9). Discuss the scriptures with one another and think of ways to apply it to your life and to different circumstances you find yourself in. The Word is our roadmap to living a life that is pleasing to God. By studying the Word with your spouse, you can develop and deeper spiritual intimacy and bond. The results of doing this are unfathomable and innumerable. In our experience, we've created a deeper spiritual bond as a unit with Christ, a deeper natural bond between ourselves as husband and wife, and studying scriptures together continues to allow us to be led by the Word of God in all situations and events so that we can know how to answer anything and anyone that comes our way, especially when the problem is between us! Let's hide God's Word in our hearts (Psalm 119:11)!


Colossians 4:6 (ESV)~ Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.


3. Prefer Your Spouse Over Yourself
















Do you put your spouse's needs above your own? Or do you have the 'I gotta get mine and I'm putting the kids, work, my mother, and friends first and my spouse can get what's left over' mindset? Devotion and preference to your spouse is absolutely vital for a successful marriage (Romans 12:10). If we are loving our spouse whole-heartedly, with no conditions or filters, we are on the right track to loving them how Christ loves us. Jesus commands us to love one another like He loves us (John 13:34-35). What if there were conditions and filters put on Jesus' love for us? How would that make you feel? What if there was a limit to how many times He forgave us? What would that do to us? We may not always "feel like" preferring our spouse over our own selves, but if we take a moment to see how doing so impacts them in a beneficial way, we would probably be more intentional about doing it more often and developing a lifestyle of selflessness. In our marriage, we love each other the way we need to be loved. This means we openly talk about what we need and how we can do provide for and meet those needs for each other. We manage our expectations and are intentional about making time to catch up on our lives and to touch on ways we can be better. We love one another unfiltered and unconditionally, even when we don't "feel like it". We do it anyway because that is how Christ loves us!


Philippians 2:1-5 (NIV) ~ 1Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, 2then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. 3Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 4not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

5In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:


It is important to remember that no couple is perfect or has it all together, but that we are all striving to be better than we were yesterday. Developing and maintaining a relationship with Christ makes it juuust a bit easier and more comforting along the way. Continue to love God and love one another as He intended for us to. Until next time...


Praying for couples everywhere,

Kevin & Thais Miller


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